I’m Going Home
It’s my last day on this adventure I’ve been on for the past 5 ½ months.
I’m genuinely really sad for it to be over, but more than that I’m really excited to go home and even a bit relieved that the wanderlust in my soul is satisfied.
I have been having a hard time finding the words even for myself to express how I feel and what all this has meant to me. So, I will start with this:
I am so proud of myself.
I’m proud of myself for taking the leap and seeing it through.
I’m proud of how I’ve shown up, especially how I’ve shown up for myself, throughout each varied iteration of this journey.
I’m proud of myself for staying open, asking for help, saying hello first in groups of new people, saying no when I needed to, and listening to my body every step of the way.
Most importantly, I am immensely proud of who I am and in awe of who I am continually becoming.
There have been so many moments on this trip where I have been in absolute awe that this is the life I get to live right now. And somewhere along the way I was able to shift that feeling towards myself, and noticed a sense of wonder stirring in relation to the woman that I am.
I have fallen more in love with myself than before and can honestly say that I am incredibly grateful for who I am.
I am grateful for my pure and gentle heart, the ways I see the world around me, my passion and drive, my connection to and love for the Earth, my bold spirit, the depth and groundedness I hold, and for the ways in which I wish to make the world a better place.
This trip has shown me that every aspect of life can be filled with immense beauty if you simply allow it to. And not the beauty that comes from vast views or landscapes – though there have been many of those and they are of course worth mentioning. But the beauty of the moments in between that can so often be passed by but are always what make something worthwhile.
The moments that have been filling my thoughts while reflecting on this trip are the ones that were least expected and probably least glamorous.
Waiting at the bus station in India in the pouring rain, surrounded by cows and then covered in cow slobber.
Sleeping 3 to a queen bed in 1 room for 5 days and loving every moment of it.
Late-night card games
The strangers/angels who have helped me when I needed it.
The tears shed at each goodbye and the continued list of connections built across the world
Getting to get my hands in the soil and meet the Earth in all ways she is alive across the world.
I have also cultivated an even deeper sense of trust in and with myself. And, while there are many people in my life that I deeply and wholeheartedly trust, I’ve learned just how special it is to so confidently be able to declare that I trust myself more than anyone else. And on a trip like this, I know that has been one of my greatest assets.
I’m ending my trip in an eco-village in Ireland (which is all sorts of cool and inspiring). I was originally planning various places to visit and how I was going to get around Ireland via public transport, etc, etc… when I realized that I don’t actually have any energy left for trip planning or genuine interest in sight seeing anymore. My body is so exhausted – truly exhausted. And I simply wanted to be in one place. Then I found this little village and felt it was the right place to be!
It’s in a tiny town with a surprising amount of things going on – the eco-village is very lively and connected to the original village here so it’s a really cool model to see and lots of people from around the world to meet! There’s a community farm, community gardens, tons of events of all kinds, fruit trees everywhere, a co-working space, natural woodlands and places to walk, a coffee shop and small cafe… the perfect place to be connected to community while in my own recuperation and retreat from it all.
I was in resistance to accepting that my trip is over, fearing as though the magic and inspiration that has come through will also end with it. But I know better than to believe in that. While it might look different back home, I trust that the magic that has woven itself through each and every experience I've encountered these past 5+ months will continue to be my guide.
There are some exciting projects I will be starting that are very close to my heart and I can’t wait to share them with all of you (spoiler alert: one of them is a podcast!).
I am extremely grateful to everyone I have met along the way. And I am grateful for everyone who has supported me from afar by following along and reading what I have to share. It means the world to me to know that what I do makes a difference for someone else and genuinely makes me so happy to share about what I have learned from my own experiences.
I’m not sure in what way I will keep writing or my website will evolve. But I know I will continue sharing in some capacity and will keep you all in the loop as I do. And right now, I know I’m excited to see my family and be welcomed by the San Diego sun in just 1 more day :)
